The Neo Testament

Remember ye faithful that Jesus, the son of God, the son of man, rode into Jerusalem on the back of a donkey thus presciently demonstrating his deep Republican affiliation. For too long, the left has hijacked the Holy Bible to promote its pasty-faced version of the life of Christ, well not any more. This version show a truer, more conservative side of scripture and gives us a Messiah who was more hawk than dove.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Matthew 6:16 God and Mammon

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal.

But lay up for yourselves treasures in offshore accounts, where neither Feds nor IRS doth corrupt, and where pinkos do not break through nor steal.

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

The light of the body be the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.

But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness, how great is that darkness!

No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. Although there is no harm in trying. God is actually really impressed with he who manageth both.

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